I Digress to Regrets

Regrets are the WORST. I like to think I am not the person who gets hung up on them, but I totally have those few things that eat away at me when I think about them. People always say, “You’ll never regret the things you did, only the things you didn’t do.” That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. No, I didn’t go on that one trip with my friends to Italy. No, I have never been skydiving. But those are not my true regrets. I regret, more than anything, the things I have done, and more importantly the words I have said.




There are so many things I wish I could take back. Unfortunately, my brain tends to run faster than my filter. I totally feel for Tom Hanks (ie Joe Fox) in You’ve Got Mail. Sure, Meg Ryan is made to look stupid by Joe’s “zingers,” but she never has to wish she can take back the words she said. Unfortunately, she has a “breakthrough” later on in the movie. She will come to regret that.

Luckily, my brain is slowing and my filter seems to be growing up, but back in college I could get myself into some real trouble. I blamed others for my mistakes, refused to recognize I was NOT invincible and eventually ended up destroying some friendships with people who once meant the world to me.

Okay, fine, that may be dramatic, but I definitely am not as close to some people as I used to be, and there are definitely others I flat out don’t speak to anymore. Was it totally my fault? No, but running my mouth could not have helped. So, I guess this is my apology I am sending out into the void. For all those phone calls I never should have made and the words I never should have said, I’m sorry.

Blaming Fifty Shades

Confession: I just Googled parental ratings on a book. No, I do not have children. No, I am not an overly conservative nut, but I am over this Fifty Shades of Gray book culture. Is it so much to ask that authors leave a little to the imagination? I used to blush reading Nicholas Sparks. Now it seems language that was once reserved for Fabio-clad, grocery store novels is mainstream. -- I hate it.

I want to be able to read a book on a plane without feeling like my mother would be ashamed. Anyone who has read this blog knows I grew up on Dawson's Creek, Sex and the City, Friends, Grey's Anatomy, etc, but something about seeing it in print is -- jarring. Am I the only one who feels this way? Sometimes I feel like a crazy person. I get it's hypocritical that I don't mind R-rated movies, but R-rated books make me squeamish. I see the flaws in the logic, but it is what it is. I want my Mr. Darcy, not Mr. Gray.

Sorry for the rant. Continue on with your day as normal.

First Date Fears

First dates are awesome and terrifying all at the same time. It doesn't matter what the situation is: blind, met at a bar (which let's be honest sometimes might as well be blind), friends taking the plunge, getting asked out in the shampoo aisle at Walgreens or even a setup from your parents. Say what you will, some times the best dates come from parents forcing their children into social interactions.

First dates are awesome because there is the possibility of butterflies, first kisses, long talks and eventually reliving every detail via Gchat with your best friends. They can also be terrifying. Even when you take the Lifetime movie kidnapping/serial killer scenario out of the equation, you could still end up on a date from hell. We all have the story. He gets too frisky in the car, takes you to a way too expensive restaurant then expects you to split the check, one of you ends up with food poisoning or you both realize three minutes into the evening you have nothing to talk about.

But girls I think we can all agree the scariest part of the date is the first date outfit. What if he is thinking a burger at his favorite dive and you are in a dress and heels? What if you go for the new, super high, incredibly uncomfortable pumps and he wants to walk around the park? More often than not, you have no idea where you are going. It's the first date, you definitely aren't close enough to ask. You just have to pray these guys offer up the plan for the night and even that isn't always enough information.

I don't remember the last time I went on a first date -- and sometimes even a second and third -- without having an obligatory fashion show of outfit options. Whether in front of the mirror or roommates, at least three outfits are worn before any date. If any girl disagrees, she is a freak of nature and I want to know her secrets.

We all have the go-to, I feel good about myself outfits. The question is: do we throw on the dress or the jeans? Sandals or heels? Boys, do us all a favor and let us know where we are going and not in a "let's grab dinner. I'll pick you up at 7." way. I want restaurant names and after dinner plans so I can Google to my little heart's desire.

A Walk Down (Embarrassing) Memory Lane...

Ever since joining the wonderful, working world, I have found... it's rough. No, I'm kidding. You have disposable income, your own apartment and you don't have to study for tests. It's quite nice, assuming, of course, you break up the week. One way to do this? Weekly wine night, or as our group has come to affectionately call it -- Boozeday Tuesday. (copyright: Kathie Lee and Hoda.)

Where can we get those glasses? (photo credit: nytimes.com)

One might assume if you put a group of girls in a room together it would get a little gossipy, but oddly our conversation normally is... well... strange. Last night we somehow ended up on the topics of kidnapping, unsolved murders and first kisses (odd combination, I know). But first kisses ended up with us finding the greatest game we ever played: The First Kiss Facebook Photo.

Now back in my day, we didn't have Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr or Vine so our actual first kisses are not on camera (thank goodness). We wouldn't want those anyway. Can you imagine? Shoot me. No the trick is you have to pull up the most recent Facebook profile picture of your first kiss and own up. 

This may not sound as wonderful as it is, but in our group we had a fiery redhead, a blonde, a body builder, one who was legitimately cute and a Mexican-Canadian rapper. (I could not make this stuff up if I tried). It really is the testament to how much a kid can change in 10 years. A once 8th grade hottie is now 5'1 with a Napoleon complex, and the dorkiest kids in school are now 6'2 lawyers with an expense account.

Example: Neville Longbottom. Sixth-grade = chunky nerd. Ten years later = Yes, please. (photo credit: merryfarmer.com)

Kids, I cannot stress this enough -- DATE THE NERDS. They get growth spurts, it's worth the wait. Now go, look up your first kiss on Facebook and recoil in embarrassment. It's beyond worth it.

The Time Change Challenge

Well kids, it is nearly 4 a.m. and I am wide awake. I am choosing to blame the recent time change for this, and yes I realize the absurdity of that statement. Assuming this was a time change issue, I would still be awake at 5 a.m. But I am a big believer in when you're up, you're up for a reason.

So what's the reason? To watch the marathon of Friends that is currently happening? Maybe, but probably not. Most likely this has something to do with the deep-rooted career crisis I am panicking about at the ripe-old-age of 24 or maybe I just had too much coffee. Either way I am choosing to distract myself.

 

credit: White Christmas, Paramount Pictures

For all those Bing Crosby fans, there is a scene in White Christmas where Bob, played by Bing Crosby, tells Judy, played by the great Rosemary Clooney, that when he can't sleep he counts his blessings so that is just what I am going to do -- kind of.

The obvious choice for this post would be family, friends, livelihood, yadda, yadda, yadda, but -- LAME. I love those things. I am borderline obsessed with those things, but right now those aren't pushing me through the 4 a.m. sleep drought. No, no I have to hank my good friend, the internet. This thing is AWESOME.

I can connect with people I work with in Pakistan (the 10 hour difference means they are already working), watch constant video updates of puppies playing and research any topic all at 4 a.m. without being judged. At no other time in history was that nonsense possible.

What? You think I am being dramatic. Think about it. Just a mere 15 years ago if you were awake in the middle of the night you were forced to watch bad TV or wake up a friend. There was no Netflix, no Bloggr, just silence. Sure on one hand that means people were probably better at addressing their insomniatic issues, but on the other hand we have cat videos. Personally I'll take ole grumpy cat over sound psychological stability any day.

So thank you internet for making the late nights bearable. You're the best. 

I'm Back

Oh hello, three followers. You have won the battle of “who will stick around the longest?” I commend you on your efforts and apologize for my absence. It feels strange apologizing seeing as though I don’t believe I garnered enough of a following to apologize, but I will none-the-less.

The past six months since starting this little blog have been a whirl-wind of (minor) change. I moved out of my parents, had a number of my best friends (including my roommate) from college move to my city and multiple friends get hitched. Also, I hit the wall. The “oh my gosh, what am I doing with my life” wall. I hate that wall. That wall caused me to lose all focus, motivation and will to write which made spending time after work writing this little guy rough.

But good news, I have found motivation. I am going with the “just force myself to do it” theory. So far, so good. We’re starting slow though. (I like saying “we” as if this is somehow a group activity. To clarify, I am aware it is not.) But what this long-winded post is trying to say is – I’m back. 

Boys, Barbeque and Buda

This weekend I got to hang out in one of my favorite cities on Earth ie the great Austin, Texas. If you've never been, I promise you are missing out. The food, the scenery, the music, the nightlife it is all amazing. I BS-ed my way through a fifteen page "research" paper in college solely about music on Sixth St. if you are looking for an in-depth analysis. How I convinced my teacher going to see the Spazmatics at Cedar Street Bar was first-person research I will never know, but I lost my train of thought.

Along with all of this stuff, I also have amazing friends that still live there. One of which works for a website startup that I will shamelessly plug here. It's called Loku and it focuses on local events, food, shopping you get the idea. It is basically that friend that always has the hookup in the form of a website. But the great thing about having him work there, he has the super hookups. Thanks to that wealth of knowledge, we ended up at Old Settlers Music Festival in the Salt Lick Pavilion.

For those of you who don't know what Salt Lick is, I feel so sorry for you. It is hands down the best barbeque I have ever had and it's BYOB.... and family style.... and they have outdoor seating. If they built a nap room for after you ate, I'm pretty sure this would be heaven. The only catch, it is in Buda, Texas about twenty minutes outside of Austin so be sure to bring a DD. Basically when my Loku contact, Jeff (double-plug I know, I am shameless), offered to drive one of my best friends, Skarke, and I out there, we were in!

Three beers, massive amounts of barbeque and a wine tasting later, we somehow ended up having an oddly insightful conversation about relationships. We are all right in that place where the first wave of friends are getting engaged and college relationships seem to be in the sink or swim mode. For fear of any of our past, current or future relationships reading this, I am not divulging where we all are specifically in our dating lives, but let's just say marriage is not on the mind and we have all dated quite a few people.

So here was the question: A. Compatibility or B. Passion.

Oddly enough, Jeff immediately said compatibility. He said in fifty years that is what matters. Who can you laugh with? Watch movies with? Sit and talk for hours with? That is who he wants next to him walking down the aisle. Skarke, she said passion first, then said compatibility was key. Me, I said C. All of the above and was quickly chastised for cheating. Obviously, all of the above is the answer, but what do you look for first?

Ya, I don't know. I think I've tried both. I've dated some great guys and it just wasn't there. Then I have dated some absolute jerks, but the passion kept us together longer than any Oprah or Dr. Phil after school special would approve. However, both ended up in a breakup so how should I know. But what do y'all think? A or B?